Stupid Criminal Jokes about Funny Persons

{YBA} You are reading criminal Jokes for happy and relax time, In the jokes about criminals most peoples shows some message for correction of others. Mostly jokes on criminal and other words says nice message for us.

1. Criminal Masterminds – Arkansas

Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he’d just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. Seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape.

2. Answering Machine Messages – 57 (Burglar)

(Noisy pick-up of phone.) Hi, I’m a burglar and I was just about to steal Troy’s answering machine. If you give me your name and number I’ll… Uh, I’ll post it on the fridge where he’ll see it. Uh… By the way, where did you say you live?

3. Criminal Masterminds – Michigan

The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 7:50 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn’t open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren’t available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

4. Trying to hold up a bank

In Modesto, California, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun, but unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. hello”

5. The Tickets

A young couple got married and went away on their honeymoon. After two weeks they came back and finally put away all of the presents they received from friends and family. Since this was a new home, the process took some time.

A week later, they received in the mail two tickets for a popular show where tickets were impossible to get. They were very excited and warmed by the gesture of the person who sent this. Inside the envelope, however, was only a small piece of paper with a single line, “From…guess who?”

The pair had much fun trying to identify the donor, but failed in the effort. They went to the theatre, and had a wonderful time. On their return home late at night, still trying to guess the identity of the unknown host, they found the house stripped of every article of value. And on the bare table in the dining room was a piece of paper on which was written in the same hand as the enclosure with the tickets.

6. Most Frivolous Cases Filed By New York Prisoners

Top Five Most Frivolous Cases Filed By New York City Prisoners

• Francis Hugh Smith claimed New York owed him US$10 million because faulty medical care caused amnesia that made him leave his work-release job and forget to return to prison.
• Anthony Malloy sough “US$989 billion trillion” because he said prison guards beat up his jacket, which he was not wearing at the time. His case was dismissed.
• Anthony Gill claimed secondhand cigarette smoke from other inmates caused him medical problems- altho’ he buys cigarettes from the prison commissary.
• Jose Reyes wants US$1000 because the state made him eat vegetable diet loaf after he violated prison rules. He said he lost 450g.
• Thomas Higgins sued the state for US$10,000 because a prison laundry machine broke and he claims a constitutional right to clean clothes and blankets.

7. A gang of Robbers Broke Into a Lawyer’s Club

A gang of robbers broke into a lawyer’s club by mistake. The old legal lions
gave them a fight for their life and their money. The gang was very happy to escape.

“It ain’t so bad,” one crook noted. “We got $25 between us.”

The boss screamed, “I warned you to stay clear of lawyers! We had $100 when we broke in

8. Criminal Masterminds – New Jersey

A Newark woman reporting her car as stolen mentioned that there was a car phone in it. The policeman taking the report called the phone and told the guy that answered that he had read the ad in the newspaper and wanted to buy the car. They arranged to meet, and the thief was arrested.

9. Criminal Masterminds – Washington

When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motorhome parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he had bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find an ill man curled up next to a motorhome near spilled sewage. A police spokesperson said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his hose into the motorhome’s sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he’d ever had.

10. Criminal Masterminds – Kentucky

Two men tried to pull the front off an ATM by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off their truck. Scared, they left the scene and drove home. with the chain still attached to the machine– with their bumper still attached to the chain, with their vehicle’s license plate still attached to the bumper.