Humorous Short Fishing Jokes and Stories for Kids
Hello fisherman if you are searching jokes of fishing, here is fishing jokes and jokes about fishing are selected for you to read and share to your friends and group of fishing fans. Ya enjoy it!
1. Weight Report
A small town doctor was famous in the area for always catching large fish.
One day while he was on one of his frequent fishing trips he got a call that a woman at a neighboring farm was giving birth. He rushed to her aid and delivered a healthy baby boy.
The farmer had nothing to weigh the baby with so the doctor used his fishing scales. The baby weighed 32 lb. 10 oz
2. Fishermen and Hypochondriacs
Q: What do fishermen and hypochondriacs have in common?
A: They don’t really have to catch anything to be happy.
3. Polish Guys go Fishing in a Lake
These two Polish guys rent a boat and go fishing in a lake. They are amazed at the number of fish that they caught that day, so one says to the other, “We’ll have to come back here tomorrow!”
The other asks, “But how will we remember where this spot is?”
The first guy then takes a can of spray paint, paints an X on the bottom of the boat, and says, “We’ll just look for this X
tomorrow.”
The other guy says, “You idiot! How do you know we’ll get the same boat?.
4. Out to Lunch
It’s the late 1980’s, and this technician’s boss at a nonprofit agency has a brainstorm.
“He wanted to provide a menu-driven telephone system that would let local boaters and fishermen call in for information on river levels,” says the tech.
His further comments: “I was invited to a lunch with the local phone company to discuss it. Being new to the project, I started by asking what percentage of the targeted rural population had touch-tone phone service … a must-have for menu-driven phone systems. As I remember, the chicken salad was delicious and the project was never discussed again.
5. The Beachcomber
While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting an old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted, “are there any gators around here?!”
“Naw,” the man hollered back, “Ain’t been any for years!”
Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming toward the shore. As he got closer to shore he shouted to the guy again “What did you do to get rid of the gators?”
“We didn’t do nothin’,” the beachcomber said. “The sharks got ’em all.
6. Wife After Returning from Fishing Trip
Wife after returning from fishing trip with husband to neighbor: “I did everything all wrong again today — I talked too much and too loud. I used the wrong bait. I reeled in too soon and I caught more than he did.
7. Sam’s Fishing
A game warden noticed how a particular fellow named Sam consistently caught more fish than anyone else. Whereas the other guys would only catch three or four fish a day, Sam would come in from the lake with a boat full of fish. Stringer after stringer was packed with freshly caught trout. The warden, curious, asked Sam his secret. The successful fisherman invited the game warden to accompany him and observe.
So the next morning, the two met at the dock and took off in Sam’s boat. When they got to the middle of the lake, Sam stopped the boat, and the warden sat back to see how it was done.
Sam’s approach was simple: He took out a stick of dynamite, lit it, and threw it into the air. The explosion rocked the lake with such a force that dead fish immediately began to surface. Sam took out a net and started scooping them up.
Well, you can imagine the reaction of the game warden. When he recovered from the shock of it all, he began yelling at Sam, “You can’t do this! I’ll put you in jail, buddy! You will be paying every fine there is in the book!”
Sam, meanwhile, set his net down and took out another stick of dynamite. He lit it and tossed it in the lap of the game warden with these words: “Are you going to sit there all day complaining, or are you going to fish?.
8. Catfish Jokes
Q. What is the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?
A. One is a bottom-dwelling, scum-sucking scavenger and the other is a fish!
Q. What is the difference between a female lawyer and a catfish?
A. One’s slimy and has whiskers, and the other one lives in the water.
TRIVIA: The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds, that makes the catfish rank #1 for animal having the most taste buds.
Jim had an awful day fishing on the lake, sitting in the blazing sun all day without catching a single one. On his way home, he stopped at the supermarket and ordered four catfish. He told the fish salesman, “Pick four large ones out and throw them at me, will you?”
“Why do you want me to throw them at you?”
“Because I want to tell my wife that I caught them.”
“Okay, but I suggest that you take the orange roughy.”
“But why?”
“Because your wife came in earlier today and said that if you came by, I
should tell you to take orange roughy. She prefers that for supper tonight.
9. Polish Fish
The Minnesota Fish and Game Comission wanted to develop a fish that
would offer more for their sportsmen so they crossed a Coho with a
Walleye and called it a Kowal. It grew to a nice size and reproduced well but it wouldn’t bite. They crossed the Kowal with a Muskie and called it a Kowalski but they were so stupid they had to teach them how to swim.
10. Successful Ice Fishing
Two men have been sitting out on a lake all day long ice fishing. One has been having no luck at all, while the other has been pulling fish after fish out of his hole in the ice. The man having no luck finally leans over and asks the other what his secret is.
“mmmmm mmm mmmm mmm mmm,” is the reply.
“I’m sorry, what did you say?”
“mmmmm mmm mmmm mmm mmm,” the successful fisherman repeats.
“I’m sorry, I still didn’t understand you.” The man spits something into his hand and says very clearly,
“You’ve got to keep your worms warm.”
11. Late For Sunday School
A young boy came to Sunday School late.
His teacher knew that he was usually very prompt and asked him if anything was wrong.
The boy replied no, that he was going fishing but his dad told him that he needed to go to church.
The teacher was very impressed and asked the boy if his dad had explained to him why it was more important to go to church than to go fishing?
The boy replied, “Yes he did. Dad said he didn’t have enough bait for both of us.
12. Ice Fishing
A guy gets up really early in the morning to go ice fishing. He goes out onto the ice with his tent, his pick and his fishing rod, and starts to pick at the ice. Then he hears a big booming voice: “THERE’S NO FISH UNDER THE ICE”
The guy looks around and then starts to pick at the ice again. Then he hears the voice again: “THERE’S NO FISH UNDER THE ICE”
Now the guy is getting a little edgy. He looks up, “God, is that you?”.
There is no answer, so he starts picking again. “THERE’S NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!!”
Then the guy yells “God! is that you?”
“NO, IT’S THE MANAGER OF THE ICE RINK.
