Courtroom Jokes Jokes about the Courtroom
{YBA} In every situation and every where creates a jokes on any topics, Now posted a courtroom jokes and jokes about the Courtroom. These jokes on court room just for fun and happy mood.
1. Failed Sunblock
“S.A. Schapiro of Milwaukee is suing the Nivea skin-care company because its sunblock failed to keep him from getting sunburned on his vacation,”says Premiere Morning Sickness. “If he wins this one, he plans to sue God for making the Earth too close to the sun.
2. Cracks in the Sidewalk
Wisconsin, A man who drank 13 cocktails then tripped on his way out of a golf course bar, sued the gold course and was awarded $41,000 because there were cracks in the sidewalk. (No word if he’ll use it for a down payment on his bar tab.
3. Do any of You Here Today Dislike Lawyers?
I was on a panel for prospective jury duty. The first lawyer questioning us began right off as an intimidating showman and asked the question, “Do any of you here today dislike lawyers?”
Before the pause became too long, the judge announced, “I do.”
4. Cross Examination
A Columbia lawyer was well into a lengthy cross-examination of a witness when he
stopped and said, “Your honor, a juror is asleep.”
The Judge ruled, “You put him to sleep; YOU wake him up.
5. Four Lawyers
The judge faced the defendant and said, “This is not an ordinary case and it must be argued very carefully, so I’m going
to let you have four lawyers.”
The defendant answered, “Instead of four lawyers, sir, could you hunt up just one good witness?.
6. Legal Terminology
CRIMINAL JUSTICE: When the accused and his attorney go to jail.
HABEAS CORPUS: A rash under the arm pits.
HEARING: What a husband loses after the honeymoon’s over.
JURISPRUDENCE: The girl with sweaty hands that always asked you
to dance in high school.
JURY DUTY: What happens to you if you don’t have a job, haven’t ever
read a newspaper and lie about whether you watch TV.
7. Judge’s Announcement
A judge enters the courtroom, strikes the gavel and says, “Before I begin this
trial, I have an announcement to make. The lawyer for the defense has paid me $15,000 to swing the case his way. The lawyer for the plaintiff has paid me $10,000 to swing the case her way. In order to make this a fair trial, I am returning $5,000 to the defense.
8. Nervous Witness
An uncertain and nervous witness was being cross-examined. The lawyer thundered, “Have you ever been married?”
“Yes, sir,” said the witness in a low voice. “Once.”
Whom did you marry?
Well, a woman.
The lawyer bellowed angrily, Of course you married a woman. Did you ever hear of anyone marrying a man?.
To which the witness replied meekly, My sister did.
9. A Pickpocket in Court
A pickpocket was up in court for a series of petty crimes.
The judge said, “Mr. Banks you are hereby fined $100.”
The lawyer stood up and said, “Thank you, your honor. My client only has $75 on him at
this time, but if you’d allow him a few minutes in the crowd.
10. A Witness to an Automobile Accident
A witness to an automobile accident was testifying. The following exchange took
place between the lawyer and the witness:
The lawyer: Did you actually see the accident?.
The witness: Yes, sir.
The lawyer: How far away were you when the accident happened?.
The witness: Thirty-one feet, six and one quarter inches.
The lawyer (thinking he’d trap the witness): Well, sir, will you tell the jury
how you knew it was exactly that distance?.
The witness: Because when the accident happened I took out a tape and measured
it. I knew some stupid lawyer would ask me that question.
