Cat Jokes Funny and Clean – Jokes about Cats
{YBA} Jokes about cats are nice and funny jokes for kids and youngsters, If you have sweet collection of any jokes immediately send us please. Because we wan to share to others.
1. Going Out Cat Jokes
A couple was going out for the evening. The last thing they did was to put the cat out.
The taxi arrived, and as the couple walked out of the house, the cat shoots back in. So the husband goes back inside to chase it out.
The wife, not wanting it known that the house would be empty, explained to the taxi driver He’s just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother.
A few minutes later, the husband got into the taxi and said, Sorry I took so long, the stupid thing was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out.
2. A Great Way To Clean Your Toilet
Great Directions here for a real clean toilet!!! easy too!!!!
1. Lift both lids on your toilet bowl and add a couple of capfuls of shampoo to the water.
2. Go to the other room where the cat is sleeping, pick it up and soothe it while you carry it towards the bathroom.
3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids (You may need to stand on the lid, afterwards). The cat will self agitate and make ample suds.
(Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.)
4. Flush the toilet three or four times.
(This provides a power-wash and rinse)
5. Have someone open the closest door to the outside (Be sure that no one is between the toilet and the outside door.)
6. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.
7. The cat will rocket out of the toilet and run outside where it will dry itself. After this procedure, both the toilet and the cat will be sparkling clean!
Sincerely,
The Dog
3. Cat and Mouse Jokes
There was a cat and a mouse who went to heaven, and they were there at the same time. Well, the mouse approaches God’s throne, and God asks him, So, how do you like it up here?.
The mouse says, It’s nice, but could I get a pair of roller skates?.
God says, Sure.
So, the mouse gets his roller skates.
Well, the next day, the cat approaches God’s throne, and the same question is directed at him. So, he answers, It’s great, I didn’t know you had meals on wheels up here.
4. Bathing the Cat and Jokes about cats
Following are instructions on the best way to bathe your cat:
1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.
2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water, and have both lids lifted.
3. Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids (you may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape). CAUTION: Don’t get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his paws will be reaching out to grab anything they can find. The cat will self-agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from your toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.
5. Flush the toilet 3 or 4 times. This provides a “powerwash and rinse” which I have found to be quite effective.
6. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.
7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.
8. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet and run outside where he will dry himself.
Sincerely,
The DOG
5. The Art Collector Latest Jokes about Cats
A famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a mangy cat lapping milk from a saucer in the doorway of a store. He does a double take.
He knows that the saucer is extremely old and very valuable, so he walks casually into the store and offers to buy the cat for two dollars.
The storeowner replies, I’m sorry, but the cat isn’t for sale.
The collector says, “Please, I need a hungry cat around the house to catch mice. I’ll pay you 20 dollars for that cat.
And the owner says “Sold,” and hands over the cat.
The collector continues, Hey, for the twenty bucks I wonder if you could throw in that old saucer. The cat’s used to it and it’ll save me from having to get a dish.
The owner says, Sorry buddy, but that’s my lucky saucer. So far this week I’ve sold sixty-eight cats.
6. Why do cats hate flying saucers?
Q. Why do cats hate flying saucers?
A. Because they can’t reach the milk.
7. Foreign Language
A mother mouse and a baby mouse are walking along, when all of a sudden, a cat attacks them.
The mother mouse goes, “BARK!” and the cat
runs away.
“See?” says the mother mouse to her baby. “Now do you see why it’s important to learn a foreign language?.
8. Foreign Language Best Jokes on Cats
A mother mouse and a baby mouse are walking along, when all of a sudden, a cat attacks them.
The mother mouse goes, “BARK!” and the cat
runs away.
“See?” says the mother mouse to her baby. “Now do you see why it’s important to learn a foreign language?.
9. Lose The Cat Funny Jokes on Cats
A man hated his wife’s cat and he decided to get rid of it. He drove 20 blocks away from home and dropped the cat there. The cat was already walking up the driveway when he approached his home.
The next day, he decided to drop the cat 40 blocks away but the same thing happened. He kept on increasing the number of blocks but the cat kept on coming home before him.
At last he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right and so on until he reached what he thought was a perfect spot and dropped the cat there.
Hours later, the man called his wife at home and asked her, Jen is the cat there?
Yes, why do you ask?”answered the wife.
Frustrated the man said, Put that cat on the phone, I am lost and I need directions.
10. Woman & Cats – Best Jokes of Cats
I’ve never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they don’t listen, they don’t come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, and when they’re home they like to be left alone and sleep.
In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.
