Best Clean Computer Jokes for Kids
{YBA} Here we have a new and decent selection of computer jokes. Lets have a look at these funny and lovely jokes about computer for laughing. Share with us your collection of computer jokes.
Computer Jokes Jokes about Computers
1. Custom Software
My old boss had spent some time writing software packages for this particular program. The software usually came as source code and was executed through an
interpreter. He started a small business selling his custom software.
One day at a scientific meeting, he noticed another company was showing the software
with ‘remarkably’ similar functionality as his own. He wandered over to watch the demo and the longer he watched, the more familiar it looked.
Eventually, when the sales gerbil had gathered a good crowd, he asked in a rather loud voice, Are you using my copyrighted copy for this?.
Of course not, the sales gerbil replied.
“So, what happens if you press [key combination]?.
“Nothing.”
Well, humor me. Do it for me.
Ok, sir, but I can assure it you does . . . and upon pressing the keys . . .
the large screen popped up my boss’ copyright notice.
It was widely accepted as the biggest laugh of the show.
2. Top 10 Signs Your PC Isn’t Top Of The Line
10. The monitor is certified for low emissions by JiffyLube.
9. The logo on your receipt: International House of Lame Computers.
8. You see the salesman you bought it from hawking genuine Rolexes on street corners.
7. The sound board and speakers are a separate unit, and they receive only AM.
6. The ad slogan: Ronald McDonald just grew up.
5. It has only two expansion slots, and they just popped up a couple of rounds of toast.
4. It’s labeled “energy saving” only because there’s no power supply.
3. You just got another one with your Happy Meal.
2. The infrared cordless keyboard has only 15 keys, and one of them is marked Fast Forward.
1. The sticker reads “nothing of value inside.
3. Calling Tech Support – Computer Jokes
Five Things You Do Not Want to Hear when Calling Tech Support
1. Duuuuuude! Bummer.
2. In layman’s term, we call that the “Hindenburg Effect.”
3. “Your problem can be fixed, but you’re going to need a butter knife, a roll of duct tape and a car battery.”
4. “Press 1 for Support. Press 2 if your with ’60 Minutes.’ Press 3 if you’re with the FTC.”
5. “Hold on a second, please … Mom! Timmy is hitting me.
4. Windows 31 – Jokes on Computer
Customer: “I have Windows Thirty One.”
Tech Support: “Ok, this program requires either Windows 95 or Win32s. Do you have Win32s on your system?”
Customer: “No, I have Windows Thirty One, not Thirty Two.”
Tech Support: “Windows 3.1 is the operating system. Win32s is a program that makes your computer fast like Windows 95.”
Customer: “What’s Windows Ninety Five got to do with it?”
Tech Supprort: “You need either Windows 95 or Win32s to run this.”
Customer: “I HAVE THIRTY ONE! WHY WON’T IT WORK?”
Tech Support: “Ma’am, your computer is too old. Buy a new one with Windows 95.”
Customer: “I’ve heard about Windows Three Hundred and Eleven. Wouldn’t that be better than Ninety Five?
5. If Only Life Could Be Like a Computer
If you messed up your life, you could press “Alt, Ctrl, Delete” and start all over.
To get your daily exercise, just click on “run”.
If you needed a break from life, click on “suspend”.
Hit “any key” to continue life when ready.
To “add/remove” someone in your life, click settings and control panel.
To improve your appearance, just adjust the display settings.
If life gets too noisy, turn off the speakers.
When you lose your car keys, click on “find”.
We could click on “send” and the kids would go to bed immediately.
To feel like a new person, click on “refresh”.
Click on “close” to shut up the kids and spouse.
To undo a mistake, click on “back”.
If you don’t like cleaning the litter box, click on “delete.
6. Testing for Development-Archetypes
Nobody can deny that the goal of software development is to produce the highest quality product possible. The only way to ensure that quality is through extensive testing.
Therefore, the following testing programs will be implemented as additions to the regularly scheduled regression testing:
Aggression Testing: Punching all developers with an open bug.
Confession Testing: All developers must admit what they either cannot do or have blown off.
Digression Testing: Developers and analysts must change the subject and ramble when the topic of bugs comes up.
Repression Testing: All developers must tell everyone who they secretly want to kill.
Oppression Testing: All developers will be required to work 24 hours a day until all bugs are fixed.
Depression Testing: All developers must explain which bugs make them sad, and why.
Succession Testing: Developers must be able to name the chain of command in the event that a PM dies.
Hessian Testing: QA will be redone by German mercenaries.
Joe Pescian Testing: All functions to be tested by a hot-headed Mafioso.
Please see your PM to get your testing schedule.
7. Lawyers and computers
Lawyers and computers have both been proliferating since 1970. Unfortunately,
lawyers, unlike computers, have not gotten twice as smart and half as expensive every 18 months.
