Helping Your Kids
As a parent, your primary responsibility is to get your kids safely from infancy to adulthood, capable and responsible enough to manage their own independent lives. If you do that successfully, you should be proud of your accomplishment.
With that said, adulthood is not where your relationship with your kids ends. After all the love, care, and work you have put into nurturing them into functional adults, there should be a desire on your part to help protect your investment. The truth is you always want to be part of your children’s lives. That doesn’t mean you have a right to intrude, it just means you want to maintain a vested interest in their happiness and success.
Many parents will find that the relationship with their children is their most prized and valuable one. Even if things get a little strained from time to time, your connection with them is something that never truly diminishes.
As you children grow more independent, it’s incumbent on your, the parent, to figure out how to stay connected to them. This could be particularly challenging if they move far away from home for work or marriage. Still, you don’t really want to start missing out on the landmarks of their lives.
Below, you will find some tips on things you can do to make sure you and you children stay connected.
Sending Love in the Form of Care Package
As a parent, you will likely always be concerned about the welfare of your children. As mentioned earlier, staying connected is difficult if your children move far from home. You’ll always have access via the phone or social media, but there are still things you can do to show you care. Here’s a thought.
The one thing kids miss most about their parents are the little things that seemed insignificant when they were younger. If you made cookies at Christmas time, you would be amazed what a Christmas care package full of cookies would mean to them during the holidays. If you realize they are struggling, sending clothes is a great way to indicate you know they have needs that aren’t being fulfilled.
Remember, your independent children might be reluctant to let on that they are struggling. There are your kids. You’ll hear it in their voices or in the way they answer questions. When you do send a care package, they’ll understand where it really came from, your heart.
Participate in Their Life
The great thing about having adult children is your relationship with them might graduate to strong friendships as well. There’s nothing wrong with visiting or hanging out with your kids. You can surprise them with a visit, prepared meal in hand. They would likely appreciate some of the old home cooking.
When they grace you with grandkids, you want to take every opportunity to be part of raising them as well. Caution, you are not the parent. It’s not always a good idea to give unsolicited advice about parenting. Your kids know who you are. If they want your advice, they’ll ask.
Finally, you want to do your best to establish a relationship with their significant others. There is no law that says parents and significant others have to be at odds with one another. You will always be a welcome part of their lives if you invest time in building this relationship.
Giving Advice
It’s a big deal when your grown children ask for advice about some aspects of their lives. It’s an indication they trust you and still want your approval. It’s incumbent on you to offer whatever advice you can in the most constructive way possible. That means confining yourself to offering advice and let them choose whether or not they follow it.
Financial Help
Like many of us, your children may eventually run into financial hardships, and could turn to you for help. Tough love aside, depending on the situation you may want to help them, as opposed to having them turn to creditors. If you do not have the savings to help them and want to guide them in their short-term options, make sure they know the pros and cons of taking out loans. In a situation where your child is faced with an unexpected emergency, like legal fees after a car accident, considering online payday loans could be an option to help them through this tough time. As long as they’re able to pay said loans exactly when they’re due, these types of loans can be a good band-aid for short-term financial problems.
Your children will always be your children. If you keep the right perspective, you’ll soon realize you can never go wrong helping your children as adults. At the end of the day, it’s the right thing to do in most circumstances. You’ll also want to remember this: Because of the value of this relationship, you don’t want to let problems fester. The most important help you can give your children is helping them understand family is family.
