Dumb Jokes of Criminal for Best Comedy

{YBA} Mostly jokes have just comedy and acting like jokes of criminal its for kids to perform for fun, we are posting a jokes about criminal and criminal jokes.

1. Great-Uncle George

The Smith’s were proud of their family tradition. Their ancestors had come to America on the Mayflower. They had included Senators and Wall Street wizards.

They decided to compile a family history, a legacy for their children and grandchildren. They hired a fine author. Only one problem arose — how to handle that great-uncle George, who was executed in the electric chair.

The author said he could handle the story tactfully.

The book appeared. It said, “Great-uncle George occupied a chair of applied electronics at an important government institution, was attached to his position by the strongest of ties, and his death came as a great shock.

2. Reliable Help

A burglar alarm goes off in the middle of the night, and the police arrived just in time to collar the burglar as he was leaving the premises with a big bag full of loot. Soon, he was in court, facing a grim-looking judge.

Did you have an accomplice? asked the judge.

“What’s an accomplice?” replied the crook.

A partner. In other words, did you commit this crime by yourself?

What else? demanded the culprit. Who can get reliable help these days?

3. Organized Crime

No matter how much the government fights it, organized crime just seems to get
more organized every day. The police pulled in a Mob kingpin recently and reminded
him he had the right to make a phone call.

Just fax the arrest report to my lawyer, the mobster said calmly.

4. Job Application – Jokes of Criminal

An applicant was filling out a job application. When he came to the question, Have you ever been arrested? he wrote, No.

The next question, intended for people who had answered in the affirmative to the previous question, was Why?.

The applicant answered it anyway:Never got caught.

5. A Lawyer Defending a Man Accused of Burglary:

A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense:

“My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb.”

“Well put,” the judge replied. “Using your logic, I sentence the defendant’s arm to one
year’s imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses.”

The defendant smiled. With his lawyer’s assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.

6. Prison Riot – Criminal jokes

The warden, addressing the three instigators of a failed prison riot, said,
I would like to know two things.

First: Why did you revolt?

Second: How did you get out of your cell?.

One of the three men stepped forward, Warden, we rebelled because the food is awful.

I see. And what did you use to break the bars? the warden asked.

Replied the spokesman, French Toast.

7. Juan the Smuggler

Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He has two large bags over his shoulders. A guard stops him and says, What’s in the bags?.

Sand, answered Juan.

The guard says, We’ll just see about that. Get off the bike.

The guard takes the bags and rips them apart; he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand. He detains Juan overnight and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags. The guard releases Juan, puts the sand into new bags, lifts them onto the man’s shoulders and lets him cross the border.

A week later, the same thing happens. The guard asks, What have you got?

Sand, says Juan.

The guard does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to Juan, and Juan crosses the border on his bicycle.

This sequence of events repeats every day for three years. Then one day, Juan doesn’t show up. The guard meets up with him in a cantina in Mexico.

Hey, buddy, the guard says, I know you’re smuggling something. It’s driving me crazy. It’s all I think about. I can’t sleep. Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?

Bicycles, Juan says.

8. Criminal Masterminds – Tennessee

A man successfully broke into a bank after hours and stole the bank’s video camera. While it was recording. Remotely. (That is,
the videotape recorder was located elsewhere in the bank, so he didn’t get the videotape of himself stealing the camera.

9. Criminal Masterminds – Louisiana

A man walked into a Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled out a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer? Fifteen dollars. If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, was a crime committed?

10. Too helpful

Working for a Judge in a common pleas court, I saw many criminal defendants. One man facing drug charges proved unusually helpful.

To determine the exact quantity of the illegal substance allegedly sold, the judge asked the prosecutor how many grams there are in an ounce.

As both attorneys checked their notes, the defendant, who had not yet entered his plea, proudly announced, “There are 28.3 grams in an ounce, your honor.”

His attorney advised him to plead guilty.